Here in New York we have become accustomed to being treated like two year olds by our Governor, Andrew Cuomo. The most recent example of this is the following quote from him regarding the mixed results from his Covid protocols:

“So the restrictions work, and just to make it very simple: If you socially distanced, and you wore a mask, and you were smart, none of this would be a problem. It’s all self imposed. It’s all self imposed… If you didn’t eat the cheesecake, you wouldn’t have a weight problem.”

This is outrageous on more than one level. Of course, if President Trump had said it, the media would have immediately labeled the claim as “baseless” and “divisive”; Twitter and FaceBook would add a fact check disclaimer to clarify that not all cheesecake eaters have weight problems, and late night “comedians” would have “joked” about his obesity; but Cuomo gets an Emmy for leadership. Did anyone else not know that there was such a thing? The opening words of the quote really point to part of the problem, “…just to make it very simple…”. For all the talk about “following the science”, people want it to be simple science, like third grade science, and despite their inability to understand anything much more complex, Science is seldom that simple. Many weight problems can’t be boiled down to “put down the spoon fatty”, and the science of all that Covid is doing to our society isn’t resolved by some thuggish governor saying “Just wear da’ mask!”. Please, oh please, understand this, when someone asks you to have faith in Science; having faith in Science is an oxymoron. Skepticism is rather an integral part of good science, and trusting scientists is not exactly the same as following the science, but most people are too lazy to actually follow the science, much less challenge it. Today’s science is a snapshot of what we understand today, and constantly changing in response to new research, and the challenges of skeptics who are sometimes the ones who are beckoning science onward by their very challenges. If you want to “follow the science”, don’t get comfortable, or dogmatic (dogma has no place in science). I had seven children, all 18 months to two years apart, and was amazed how infant care science changed with each new arrival, in a matter of months. Science is not a stagnant pond, but a rushing river; more so in this time, it’s far from simple.

Of course people like Governor Cuomo have little interest in Science except Political Science, and how the rest of science can be used in that pursuit. His willingness to call out the obviously stupid people (he as much as called them that in the comparison to the “smart” people), and the “cheesecake eaters”, demonstrates a disturbing trend on the political and societal landscapes; shaming. Shaming has become the tactic of choice in the manipulation of others to your will. It began with the concept of political correctness, and has only been exacerbated with the permeation of social networking and the 24 hour news cycle. Others are excoriated for expressing a contrary opinion, or for supporting a different political figure, or even for just being wrong… they are not by this tactic intended to be corrected, engaged, or debated; they are intended to be silenced and cancelled, but not enough to just cancel them, they must be debased and humiliated, because in so doing the shamer exalts themselves as superior… “I’m thin because I resist cheesecake… I’m smart because I wear a mask… I’m better than most people…” Only after fulfilling the lust for superiority are they content to have people change to mimic their superiority. The manipulation of shaming is of course effective in a superficial bullying way, that’s peer pressure; but it effects no essential change in people; instead it builds resentment, resistance, and rebellion.

Maybe it seems obvious to me because I raised those seven children, seven toddlers, seven teenagers, seven young adults; but let me tell you, shaming works well until about the age of three or four, after that it has diminishing returns, and by the time they’re teenagers and young adults shaming only encourages the behavior you wish to discourage, and in the end alienation. In shaming, you make yourself the accuser, the condemner… the Enemy. The Enemy can only succeed by breaking and conquering… is that who you want to be? Governor Cuomo has cast himself in the role of the parent who annoyingly asks, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”. Instead, try being a friend, a supporter, a counselor… a true leader.

It is often the fallacy of parents and politicians to suppose that all problems can be boiled down to simple solutions, but that is seldom the case with children, and never the case with society. It is annoying when reality intrudes on the magnificence of our supposed solutions. In parenthood this annoyance often expresses itself in criticism, shouting, and anger. The same is true in politics. Shaming is a destructive tool used to bend people to your will, and is by it’s very nature contrary to Liberty, and un-American. When manipulation is the goal, rather than essential change, the end result is increasing coercion and eventual despotism, when shaming is not enough. I want to think we are better than that.